Fascinated By the Worst of the Worst

I am fascinated by the worst of the worst of the worst Watching shows like Criminal Minds Forensic Files Stuff that keeps me awake all night Re-living the horror I felt while I was Sitting in front of the TV watching a murder or apocalypse Too fearful to watch a scary movie, yet watching Pompeii being covered by bus-loads of lava, Screaming and dying, Watching gladiators being torn apart by lions, Sitting in utter horror, knowing I will be up and down all night Too terrified to sleep more than two hours at a time, Waiting for the knife to plunge and the End to come Fascinated at the idea of being Buried alive, Scared to my bone marrow And for what reason? No clear idea, Certainly No sense In doing this to Myself, and yet Here I am, Waiting in terror For the Unknown Them To Come And End Me