Farewell Angel
Here is my miserable, apathetic story.
I cannot describe to you,
The pain,
I had to go through, to keep it,
A secret . . .
I fell in love,
With a spirit that haunted me--
Our connection was as fragile as a mirror.
Divided physically by indestructible matter.
Yet I made a dreadful mistake.
My thoughts spiraled towards Satan's sway, "Kill yourself and you can be with him
physically."
A pool, frozen at night, to fall in and drown. Tempted me.
The cars on the highway, my heart racing, to crash into. Tempted me.
I believed that if I’d kill myself, I’d be with the spirit that haunted me.
He and I knew I have gone much too far in this situation
We separated and now all I hear are echoes in my head.
My mind has collapsed without you.
I never feel safe or comforted anymore.
You were my guardian angel.
Each day I feel either artificial happiness or appalled solitude.
No one to confide with anymore.
You said, “You are capable of surviving without me.”
True— I can survive. But can I live life?
Will I ever feel loved again?
Deteriorating without the eerie whisper of your voice, the shadow of your presence,
our coexistence.
You said, “I will always remember the kindness you taught me.”
What about now? Permanent damage done to my heart.
You said, “Before you, I would be radically biased, I’d still be dead and hallow inside.”
My eyes are dead and hallow from restless sleep thinking only about you.
You said, “And I will love you without end, even when we are departed.”
I know I’ve been forgotten—I hope you’re happy.
I wouldn't want you to be in a hardship.
My love cannot be erased.
I wish you could hear my last farewell.
Farewell angel.
Copyright © Michangelina Schude | Year Posted 2011
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