Fana: the Falling Away of the Falling Away

So much of life Is like walking a beach all alone; Where you began is lost in the white distance behind Where you are headed a mystery as well. We carry along two small bags of pretty pebbles We gather along the way, One for the joys One for the troubles. Both bags get a little heavier The further we go. Mostly it's a long silent walk With a boundless sea whispering by our side In a tongue too ancient for the rational mind. But here and there we stop And turn to gaze out over that sea, Fingering pebbles as we do. And sometimes, if we're very lucky, And we wait and listen long enough, The whisperings begin to make sense And we become aware that An unseen Someone, A special Beloved, Has been pacing us all along; That we have never been truly alone. One must be careful not to turn too fast, To try to see this Beloved, Or they will vanish like a snowflake on the tongue. The trick is to cast one's gaze deep into oneself; Then the Beloved will appear, laughing at our cleverness, And we shall see that our silent companion Looks exactly like ourselves As we appear in others' eyes. And if we can bear to match the Beloved's gaze long enough, They will vanish before us And we will find ourselves gazing out over that sea with their eyes, And see it as it truly is: dancing, infinite,eternal, perfect. If we can do this but once, We can open our bags and toss the pebbles into the sea, Even as we realize that sea as well is but a part of us; We will understand its language of song and laughter, And disappear into everything joyfully To the sound of our own Perfect and infinite Laughter As the great whirling dance Begins again.