Michael Craven Poet Rhyme

Failed Attempts

In my years of living it's been a dark ride
On more than one occasion I've tried to make it to the darkside
Pain & hurt, my brain overworked
Cutting myself until there was blood stains on my shirt
I swear it was insane, felt sick and ashamed
Cutting deeper & deeper but couldn't hit no vein
I had no one to turn to, alone cuddled on the rug
Damn near lifeless stiff as a stone surrounded by a puddle of blood
Thinking I'm almost home, I can see the linked gates
But in reality I was wondering what's my life come to, lately I've been so messed up I couldn't even think straight
Felt like everybody hates me, can't nobody stand me
Downing pill after pill popping zannies like candy
Klotapins, I had a lot of them
Whatever I did only mattered to me but not to them
I began losing myself, started to rot within 
Starting abusing my health, welcomed defeat & watched them lock the win
Not thinking, standing at the bridge up on the top
Lost all feeling inside & was ready to die so I closed my eyes said screw it & dropped
There were strangers around me & bystanders seen it
Head first over 20 feet down face first into the cement
Dead on site at least that's what I hoped
But the lord kept my head on tight so with my latest attempt again I choked
Directly the fall didn't affect me
Had to accept the signs that it wasn't my time so the Lord wouldn't accept me
Apologized for my actions but lied to him 
Promised that them days were over but a few years later I tried again
Wrapped the rope around my neck tied it in a knot
Was tired of life & being stuck on the bottom, I wanted to get to the top
Was willing to give up everything, stressed & depressed & all out of jokes & laughs
But as soon as I kicked the chair from under me she appeared in front of me just in time to cut the rope in half
I was letting life get the best of me, allowing my pride to break me
Dying inside wondering why he refused to take me
Making the wrong calls from birth & it's been Hell ever since
Until he came to me in a dream and told me himself that I'm stuck here for the long haul and forever I'm cursed with my failed attempts....

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