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John Lawless - Premium Member

Faded Presence

Faded Presence

A weeping pillow
holds tightly to the remnant
scent of ecstasy,
inhaling faded presence
we console one another


John G. Lawless
6/20/2017

Copyright © John Lawless | Year Posted 2017

lonelinesslovetanka

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Andrea Dietrich

June 23, 2017 at 8:26 PM

and yes I rhymed my tanka. HOpe I don't lose points for that. I almost went for overkill and was gonna use head instead of face in the middle line!

Andrea Dietrich

June 23, 2017 at 8:25 PM

I really like this. It's like you were doing that one in three contest using two different themes (wilted is a bit like faded!)

June 20, 2017 at 5:14 PM

It is a little sad, but beautifully written, John. I think it's great.

Abdul Malik Mandani

June 20, 2017 at 3:22 PM

This is nice. Good luck.

June 20, 2017 at 12:49 PM

Nice, kind of sad and lonely but beautifully crafted. This short poem paints an amazing picture and will spur emotions in your readers.

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