Christopher Goss Poet Free verse

Facing My Inner Self

Though I know what I am
I don't know who I am

Standing on the edge of a cliff
Everything seems insignificant

Watching the waves crash
Around the jaws of the sea

I could sway in the breeze
Even if pain brings me to my knees

I make promises to myself
That I often fail to keep

And if I can't be honest with myself
Can I ever truly be honest with anyone

Inside of me is a darkness
That makes me do inexplicable things

I think I do the things I do
To make my inevitable suicide easier

I wanted to fight my demons
But the truth is I myself am a demon

My heart is as black as ebony
And I'm not even sure I have a soul

A jester makes a fool of a clown
But a clown makes a mockery of me

Raindrops disappear into my hair
And slide down my cheeks as tears

If I put my insides on display
They'd be just as ugly as the outside

Paint the jaws of the sea scarlet
And fade away into eternal bliss

Though deep down I'm a coward
Who could never take the leap

But one day I must realize
I've come upon the truth

The jaws of this raging sea
Are a reflection of my soul

And jumping into that sea
Exemplifies my self-created problems

And my inability to jump
Illustrates my inability to face them

And when I run away
I'm just running away from myself

Because I've faced my inner self
And my inner self is a monster

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