Facing My Inner Self


Though I know what I am
I don't know who I am

Standing on the edge of a cliff
Everything seems insignificant

Watching the waves crash
Around the jaws of the sea

I could sway in the breeze
Even if pain brings me to my knees

I make promises to myself
That I often fail to keep

And if I can't be honest with myself
Can I ever truly be honest with anyone

Inside of me is a darkness
That makes me do inexplicable things

I think I do the things I do
To make my inevitable suicide easier

I wanted to fight my demons
But the truth is I myself am a demon

My heart is as black as ebony
And I'm not even sure I have a soul

A jester makes a fool of a clown
But a clown makes a mockery of me

Raindrops disappear into my hair
And slide down my cheeks as tears

If I put my insides on display
They'd be just as ugly as the outside

Paint the jaws of the sea scarlet
And fade away into eternal bliss

Though deep down I'm a coward
Who could never take the leap

But one day I must realize
I've come upon the truth

The jaws of this raging sea
Are a reflection of my soul

And jumping into that sea
Exemplifies my self-created problems

And my inability to jump
Illustrates my inability to face them

And when I run away
I'm just running away from myself

Because I've faced my inner self
And my inner self is a monster
Copyright © | Year Posted 2019

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Be the first to comment on this poem. Encourage this poet.

Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace