Expectations
I'm keeping you at arms length
until Christmas season has passed
Four days to go and I am covered in depression
buried in quilts
expectations go unmet bills go unpaid sorrow surfaces like a dolphin
blue wet and shining, a quick jump to make your heart ache
down again
ugh
people I dont want to see, or ever have dinner with I feel the nightmare of hands
grabbing at my time
I want to be alone to savor days and hours with those of special choosing
I want to be without obligation
I dont want to share my stories and I dont want to hear yours
you are of no interest to me and you dont know me
although my association we are considered family
but really not.
Family is in the eyes of my beloved, and our children.
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