Eulogy Unspoken

“Let’s go,” I say, “before I can no longer imagine Sisyphus happy.” I take you from the desolate ruins of your own doing and imagination... before the unfolding days collapse into a single moment. You’re right there, where I expect to find you, seated in a chair of spite, bliss, contentment and contempt - smushed together like pulp and juxtaposed like a string of contradictions. You have no qualms with it; your destiny is sealed; you come with me anyway, because I can get to you: raging Himalayan rock; bodies tearing space; face against the glass behind a roaring engine. This is it. That ghost you prayed to for so long has finally come... He’s here! He’s taking you up on your wish, and I can’t let you go with him! You will not go gentle into that ****ed up night!!!!!! Your place is here with me, because I’ve lost all-too-many before. Because we’re in this together and you have no right to leave. I take hold of you and we’re gone, before it all happens, before you break your promise....before you leave me with this rock and this vertical ledge; before my heart breaks and I can no longer smile at the gods who condemned me. ....but this is hopeless. I realize the dream...and so we fall...further and further...until neither all is lost nor forgotten... but never was.