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Ephemeral Network

Written: May 07, 2024 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ he peppered peony petals, poems ... past my path scattered starlight, songs, moonstones … spaning my spine friendship fell in felicity. hush the bee hum in my hooters were hazel Begonias bloom bound silent songs strum my sternum funneled fairly fetching forward! fettered gramophone of love

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Silent One

Date: 5/8/2024 1:14:00 PM

Hey Sotto.. Your poem is a delightful and enigmatic journey through a series of vivid and sensory experiences. The brevity and fragmentation of the lines create a sense of immediacy and intensity, drawing the reader into a world of heightened sensations and emotions. The use of alliteration and assonance, such as "peppered peony petals" and "scattered starlight, songs," adds musicality and texture to the poem, enhancing its sensory appeal. The imagery of flowers, starlight, and moonstones evokes a dreamlike atmosphere, with each element contributing to the overall tapestry of sensations.

Jay Narain

Date: 5/8/2024 11:05:00 AM

A symphony of alliteration. A great write from a great poet.

Sara Kendrick

Date: 5/8/2024 10:59:00 AM

Reads like a good contender in a contest if there is one. Thanks for sharing your work with such nice alliterations within. I appreciate your visit to my page. Sara K

Ink Empress

Date: 5/8/2024 9:11:00 AM

Ah dr sotto i love the seamless and artistic flow of alliterations throughout this and how youv woven words in the most eloquent manner. Your arrangement of lines too in this really is creative. I especially love the lines “ scattered starlight, songs, moonstones … spaning my spine” so descriptive and ethereal! I love moonstones. “ Begonias bloom bound” so beautiful! “ hush the bee hum in my hooters were hazel“ so unique and love the musical cadence of words! Pleasure reading this. Sending you light always

Vijay Pandit

Date: 5/8/2024 5:57:00 AM

A symphony of alliteration. A lovely depiction and display of your poetic prowess, my friend.

Duke Beaufort

Date: 5/8/2024 5:40:00 AM

SP, I love how you describe that words can foster a relationship (even a brief one). It's amazing how you describe your body as a musical instrument in response. It's a very striking image.

Victor Buhagiar

Date: 5/8/2024 1:42:00 AM

What a great artistic poem you wrote. Your imagery and alliteration shine. Your love must echo in you as you wrote this.

Susan Ashley

Date: 5/7/2024 5:58:00 PM

Dear Lasaad, indeed, your golden pen spills enchanting thoughts, imagery and beauty. Your alliteration with soft consonant sounds (m, s, f, h,) is graceful and the alliteration with hard consonants (p, b) pack a bit of punch and provide contrast in sound. Your creative imagery and metaphors are captivating.. I especially enjoyed "hush the bee hum" and "silent songs/ strum my sternum" wow! striking! Such an exceptional piece my friend, your poetic artistry shines! Warmest wishes.. ~Susan