Emasculet

I don't know if it's because I quit baseball and football to join gymnastics, Don't know if it's because I would rather watch Taylor Swift than watch the NBA. I don't know if it's because my voice doesn't sound manly enough, Or because I used to play with Barbies. I don't know if it's because I'm sensitive and I can't hold my emotions back. But what I do know is that it hurts, I've acted like it hasn't effected me for so long but it does, and it hurts. I try to remind myself that there's nobody to blame but me, of course. Maybe it was from my father leaving, Maybe it was from the sexual abuse that my cousin gave me, Maybe it was because I Maybe I was destined to be what everybody thinks I am... gay. I don't believe I am, but after growing up and hearing you are every single day, I start to wonder why people think I'm gay, I've never thought a man to be attractive in that way. I'm sorry that I act this way, I never knew it was "gay" but please stay. I promise I'll try to change my way, maybe people will like me that way.