Elite Street

It’s great to be a member of the global elite, The bean poles in my garden are standing proud and neat. Organic veg is thriving thanks to ample bags of peat. I never hear a siren roaming down my street. I’m fairly relaxed when an airline goes under. Got a business proposition? Let me find you a funder. “When will I fix their boilers?” my tenants do wonder. I’ll soon find a scapegoat, if I should make a blunder. A product of a public school, the pride of Shrewsbury, Forcibly convinced that you would rather be me. The reality is I’m at the top of the tree So every branch manager is looking up to me! My diary is dependent on the diligent Katrina, She runs the show like clockwork, you’ll find nobody keener. She cuts through all the jargon so the minutes are much leaner And can text me at the golf club or on my yacht in the marina. I’m awfully busy, cannot give you an appointment. Upbeat copywriters - you can find a place in my tent. Relatively shielded from the risks of disappointment, You’ll never find a fly in my ointment! If the radiators splutter, I call my handyman, If my money’s on a racehorse, then I hope it runs to plan, On the promenade at Paignton I’m a suave and sandy man, To a certain travel agent, I’m her “neat and dandy man.” My doctor comes a-running if I ever get a cough. Your trusted friends will recognise when you’re a toff. I flutter like a butterfly high above your moth So the sprinklers on my lawn are rarely turned off. Sundays see me mulling over crossword clues While my weekend valet cleans my outdoor shoes, Got to keep my name out of the news. Remember buddy: heads I win and tails you lose. Now most of my investments are quite discreet, There’s a chalet in Antigua and a villa in Crete. Want some carrot cake while you’re thinking on your feet? Then you’d better not quibble with the global elite. This poem first appeared in the P.U.W. Anthology "In the Name of Democracy - Poetic Voices" on 22nd May 2021.