Easy Elimination of Stupid People, Part Two

Easy Elimination of Stupid People Part Two

By Elton Camp

I continue to believe that, without doubt
Remove warnings, problem works out
If going without product warnings we try,
Very soon, all the stupid people will die

Some folks’ stupidity continues to amaze
These are real warnings in paraphrase
Triops Fish Food assumes no gumption:
“Warning: Not for human consumption”

On treated lumber from Home Depot:
“Do not consume” they want us to know
A hair dryer gives a warning so deep
“Do not use this while you sleep”

Superman costume, so you don’t try:
“Wearing this will not let you fly”
On Slush Puppy cup we’re told:
“Caution:  The ice may be cold”

Rowenta Iron warning is one of those:
“On your body, never iron your clothes”
On American Air peanuts you don’t choke:
“Open packet, eat nuts.” I do not joke

Nabisco Easy Cheese cautions a sap:
“For best results, remove cap”
So Swanson TV Dinners taste well:
“Cook this before eating,” it does tell

This note printed on an electric cattle prod:
“Use on animals only, they think not odd
So many more examples I do see
So stay turned for Part Three
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

Poem

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