Each Day I Go into the Forest to Gather
By Phan Tan Hai
Each day I go into the forest to gather,
hoping to bring home something for my child
to ease the hunger—fumbling like a monkey,
a gibbon clinging to branches, pushing through leaves.
The mountains and forests of words are fog-thick;
I weigh with both hands, both feet, both sides
of the mind—this is a good fruit,
sweet fruit; that one is poison, harmful fruit.
These are bamboo shoots, tender leaves
I hope will warm my child’s stomach
in this cold human life. Each day I
go into the forest to gather—dry fruit,
ripe fruit, tending to the fresh ones,
watching nervously the hunters
at the foot of the mountain, ready to burn the woods.
I fear the monkeys, gibbons, deer, and antelope
will lose their land, their cries
tearing the heart each day; the frantic
tracks of beasts fleeing in terror;
the forest and mountains writhing in pain—
and I stand there, crying with them.
Each day I climb to the mountain peak,
bending over books, hoping
this human life will pass quickly, hearing
the world’s voices echo from afar—
joy, sorrow, complaints, sighs,
and even voices from a thousand years ago,
still dry with the smell of paper,
resounding with songs of praise
and shouts of anger. Each day I
wade through forests, cross streams, digging
through layers of yellow leaves and green leaves,
picking out each word, lifting it
to admire in wonder—this word heavy,
that word light, another tender,
another wounded,
this one with a hundred-year lifespan,
that one ancient for centuries;
this word sells well, that one hardly
sells—behind them flicker human faces:
gaunt, suffering, joyful…
The human world is sad like bamboo and reeds;
and I sit in the middle of life and weep,
hearing rivers and streams flow in my chest,
seeing forests rise and grow into my hair—
each day going into the forest to gather.
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