Fathima Dawood Poet Sonnet

Dying Inside. . .

I look at the bare walls and contrast my life
The cracks tell a story of disruption and strife
The smoothened plaster belies the coldness of cement
The rich hues I see all try to placate ruined descent

I see whitened parts that stop the dampness entering
The gaps I see all make for circulatory venting

Alas I fear the torrents come tumbling
Yield I say for my self worth is leaving

Cold and aloof I pray for my time
Promises made all tumble in lies

Distrust, hypocrisy all cloud my altruistic vision
I knew not then what I know now this instant

I feel I am dying inside in this gyre handmade
So untrue is this world so unfortunate and fake

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Brian Strand March 5, 2009 at 8:21 AM Written with feeling Fathima,as the best poets do.Nice work.Rgds Brian & thanks for your welcome comments

Vince Suzadail Jr. March 5, 2009 at 8:09 AM Sometime I wonder if the world has ever changed or if we do when we stop looking at it through a child's eyes. This was sad but seems so true when you look around you. Have a wonderful day, Fathima. Vince

Michael Degenhardt March 5, 2009 at 6:33 AM Wow, while the poem is terrific in flow and rhyme and format, the content is truly said, but so well expressed. Michael

Arany P. March 5, 2009 at 6:26 AM wow.. what grief!! i don't know what to write except you write so well... you capture that passion in emotions... you see i can't write like this ... i am trying so hard to write this SONNEt... but then i read sonnets written by fellow soupers... and you poets make it so hard for me!! this one is beautiful!! and by the way dont feel guilty... eat ice cream anytime... there are exceptions!! ~ Arany

Sharon Winter March 5, 2009 at 5:05 AM This is deeply heartbreaking. What ever your pain is, I truly hope it subsides and quickly. The world most certainly can be a cruel, cold place. Wishing you lighter, brighter and warmer days. Love, Shar

Aleera De La Keur March 5, 2009 at 12:40 AM I feel your anguish, the next to the last verse is my favorite, i feel like i'm reading my own story. Very heartfelt write...Aleera