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Dual Controls, Electric Blanket From Hell, Part 2

He was cold, and, suffering bad... She was far too hot, A cooling breeze... She wished that she had... So he turned up his temp, And her's, she turned down, And it's more than hard to believe, Just how fast one can be turned, Into a sad clown... Further up, he turned, His heat control number, did he dial... While she turned down, On her's, praying for, Relief, all the sweat soaked while... But he just got colder, While she started to roast... But he just got colder, While she started to roast, It was fast becoming unbearable, My dear aunt very near, Turned to burnt toast... And my favorite uncle... Now near frozen solid... In frozen fear he did clutch... His oaken bed post, Which, oddly, now seemed quite warm... And this was, for sure, Never before the norm... Now was the time, For drastic action, Each turned their temp dials Up or down to the max... Would'a been much more easy, For each to learn, in a mere hour, Just how to play jazz sax... Now each was quite desperate, And anguished beyond belief, Burning and freezing, There seemed no relief... Who sold them this defective blanket? Just who was that nasty thief?? Almost as if well practiced, and seemingly on cue, Each jumped out of their, Respective torture device, Seemed all they could do, Ready now to call an electrician, Or psychic, for some sorely needed advice... Next day, when their bedroom door, They did finally unlock... To finally check on inside, Expecting some horrific shock, Like the bed partly frozen,, And part melted away... Knowing that, if such should be, They would have not a clue, On just what to say... The electrician soon did come than... A $160 call... For a 2 minute peek... And even that was half stall... One thing you could count true, He was pissing off us all... He explained to them... The problem, he did diagnose, It wasn't evil spirits... It was not a ghost... See each had, their wires crossed, The dual control temp dials, Oh, brother!!! And they had only controlled... The temperature of the other!!......."

Copyright © | Year Posted 2007




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Book: Shattered Sighs