Drunk Poetry

Let me pour myself a brandy while I change the song on the CD I look into the Mirror and wonder who would want to be me? I notice all of my flaws and none of my beauty Does anyone out there, care enough to know me truly? I sip my drink slow, I like to enjoy the taste The club is no longer my scene, I avoid the place I'd rather listen to Eminem, and sit at home at night I'm avoiding calls from my booty call, I'd rather be alone Tonight My friends don't hear from me, I don't want to be a bother My biggest fear is being like my father He was never there, so Father isn't the right word for him Forget talking about that Coward, this isn't the right verse for him I said I wouldn't speak about Chantal again, I guess I lied I can tell the world I don't miss her, but I can't lie to my insides I've felt like giving up at times, But I'm still here Depression is my handicap, but it won't put me in a wheelchair I get told to act normal, and to not let my Bipolar side show Been holding the world for so long, my shoulders might blow I need a hand, but no one is offering to help So I have no choice but to carry on playing the Cards that were dealt I'm getting nudes sent to my phone from the ex I don't miss She seems desperate for the feelings and love I won't give She's a great girl, I just don't feel that strongly about her I just feel like I'm better off without her I seem to flirt with every girl I pass on the street I know that's wrong of me I guess I've still got some growing up to do I fear how much I'll be judged for showing this to you I'm trying to believe in love, but I've seen it go wrong too many times I can't try again, while I'm still in love with a girl who's no longer mine When you make a mistake, you're supposed to learn a lesson I didn't want to push Chantal away, I was forced by depression Maybe one day she'll contact me again and we'll see what happens I just hope whoever she's with has her laughing I just want her to be happy, even if it means I Remain hurt I wrote this while drinking, because there's a lot of truth in drunk words