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Dreaming of Ghazals

The world goes on rumbling it's way, I'm dreaming, The flowers are wilting each day, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming of looking again in your face, Some kids all day long tend to play, I'm dreaming, A fisherman sails from his bay, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming to meet you in heavenly place, Carthusian monks need to pray, I'm dreaming, Young soldiers do scarcely obey, I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming so time would not my love efface, I'm wind that is dancing ballet, I'm dreaming, You're dead as a rock that I weigh, I'm dreaming.

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Pashang Salehi

Date: 6/22/2016 11:17:00 AM

Hello Peter, Your Ghazal is beautiful. The first and second couplets are perfect. the third couplet should be reverse. The refrain should be on the even "mesra" or half line. With the exception of the first couplet that both may have refrain,on the rest of the poem, the refrain goes only on even lines "mesra". ...Pashang

Skat A

Date: 5/31/2016 11:42:00 PM

such a good write... Peter...SKAT

Peter Rangus
Date: 6/4/2016 12:53:00 PM

Thanks again SKAT for the support

Probir Gupta

Date: 5/31/2016 8:34:00 PM

Floating like fresh flowers on slow current of happiness .... emotionally touchy....a very good poem...

Peter Rangus
Date: 6/4/2016 12:53:00 PM

Thank you very much for the encouragement.