Double Solitaire--Make Their Jaws Drop Contest

On the edge of town, in a painted house, with unclad shades of gray
the north winds claim the somber dawn, on a dismal winter day
The trees bend low and the sun peeks in, as he slowly leaves his bed
Then with rote routine, the coffee perks.  Next, he grabs the frozen bread
 
Four vinyl chairs, Formica clad, a game of solitaire
Before him sits a plate of food, at a table set for one
A cup of cold, a cigarette,  and he who sits alone
The room depicts, what might have been, but reeks with wrought despair

Inaudible, just barely heard, he hums a song they knew
He tells her that the coffee's done, and offers her a chair
He shuffles cards, a few for her, and pours a cup of brew
He sips his own, then cuts the deck ........for double solitaire

He takes a puff, then bites the crust, charred taste of toasted bread
For company, she stares at him across the morning's edge, 
Her body propped against the wall, beneath the wooden ledge
Her fixed eyes stare, as if surprised... .  The one-eyed Jack is red


  


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Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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A  Avatar
October 15, 2015 at 9:36 PM
Hi Carrie, glad to see this on the top of the winning list. SKAT
Lindley Avatar
October 14, 2015 at 7:44 PM
Chilling and so well conceived. Congrats on your win.
Ryerson Avatar
October 14, 2015 at 2:56 PM
Please see my comment below...Nothing much to add to that but three words: Wow and WOW...
Inman Avatar
October 14, 2015 at 7:51 AM
Gruesome, Carrie. Loved it.
Rebstock Avatar
October 13, 2015 at 10:51 PM
Creative poem, congratulations
A. Sharma Avatar
October 13, 2015 at 10:37 PM
Congrats on ur awesome win Carrie!
D. Avatar
October 13, 2015 at 9:44 PM
Carrie' thank you. nate
K. Avatar
June 12, 2013 at 9:53 AM
Oh my, Carrie-- you honestly made me do a double take on that 5th stanza of yours-- I didn't suspect that and made me read it again-- you definitely set the eerie tone so well here with the vivid descriptions that you do so wonderfully well! I can just picture this and with just the right mix of creepiness to it! Super congrats on your 1st place win, so happy to see your name up there!
Ryerson Avatar
June 11, 2013 at 4:50 PM
Chills!...I don't know where to begin on this one. You describe this eerie scene perfectly and then the 5th verse...Wow, that almost knocked me outta my chair! Also, 'double solitaire'...What a contrast! Congratulations my friend - Tim
Lamoureux Avatar
June 11, 2013 at 3:46 PM
So well done! Congratulations
May Avatar
June 11, 2013 at 3:43 PM
the first stanza sets the tone for this macabre tale....congrats on a great win
Curry Avatar
June 11, 2013 at 5:33 AM
very good read. congrats, randy
Maharaj Avatar
June 11, 2013 at 12:27 AM
Wow :) Gave me the chills :) Congrats on the win
Guzzi Avatar
June 10, 2013 at 2:12 PM
Very unique and very creepy & would make a grand Flash Fiction! I bet you could pump this up to 600 words NO problem! The rhythm adds to the suspense! [The room's reek of might have been fills with despair.] Congrad's on your win Light & Love [soup mail me your email & I will send an example!]
A  Avatar
June 10, 2013 at 2:05 PM
congrats in Roy's contest............. SKAT
Ober Avatar
June 10, 2013 at 1:50 PM
I KNEW this one would win! Congrats! :)
Tams The Golden Girl Avatar
June 10, 2013 at 1:13 PM
yes shall not sleep tonight. congratulations Carrie xx
Jerden Avatar
June 10, 2013 at 12:50 PM
Congratulations on the top spot, Carrie! I'll be posting a blog with additional comments.
Ober Avatar
June 3, 2013 at 5:25 PM
Wow, did this ever give me shivers!!! Absolutely fantastic! And thank you for your sweet comment on my "Sunflower Summers" poem - How fun would it be to round up the poets on here for wine and cheese on a summer patio?? :)
Calubiran Avatar
May 27, 2013 at 11:37 PM
Nc Poem. I also joined this contest, my entry is "Come Out and Play". Best of lucks to both of us
Merryman Avatar
May 27, 2013 at 7:57 PM
WOW! The imagery in your poem is fantastic! An excellent piece, Carrie! A winner for sure! Love, Kim
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