Disparate Love

A professor of difficult sums Who led a simple and useful life Till he met Big Bertha from Beverley And took her to be his wife. It was a convention of difficult sums On the logistics of long haul Followed by a civic dinner Down the road in Hull Guildhall. The cabaret was wresting Big Bertha the main bout And she and the Professor met When her opponent threw her out To land on him four square, sending Him consciouslessness to the floor. He awoke in her arms and Fell in love with what he saw, A fine figure of a woman In puce and purple leotard The emotion was also mutual As she fell for him equally hard. Now he's the second in her corner And she's champion of the North West And he works at difficult sums Two hours a week at best. Theyve been on the TV And there’s talk of the silver screen And Big Bertha and her professor Recognised wherever they're seen. They've had butties at the palace Cos Camilla’s a wrestling fan Fascinated by the story of how Big Bertha got her man. It's the wrestling code she said Of that there's little doubt Three falls, two submissions Or a single knockout. Now they live a life of pleasure Taking everything as it comes And just to keep his hand in He's teaching her difficult sums. Between rounds shes in her corner A look of ecstasy on her face Contemplating quadratic equations On the nature of time and space. A professor of difficult sums Who led a simple and useful life Till he met Big Bertha from Beverley And took her to be his wife.