Discursive Nonsense!

There are few things that provoke me anymore or are apt to make me curse, Except fer the guv'mint a-meddlin' in my life and a-pickin' at my purse! Fergive me fer expressin' myself with such crass and inelegant verse, But, I git so irate at times that I feel like throwin' rocks at a hearse! I receive tons of mail in my box beggin' donations fer this and that. Yesterday, there was a sobbin' plea for dough to save the marsupial rat! I even got a letter askin' fer funds to help develop Bin Laden's legal brief! That's akin to askin' Mrs. Custer to donate to the Fund For Indian Relief! Mr. Washington, our first Commander-in-Chief, established a solid legacy. The following quotation he left for us to muse upon for posterity: "Happiness and moral duty are inseparably connected!" he did bequeath! Never have truer words of wisdom been uttered through falser teeth! Now, I ain't the smartest guy around and I often git confused. I often confound my spouse, leavin' her to state, "We are not amused!" So if a perplexin' problem arises and rather than be misunderstood, I'll pose, "My understanding of this situation ain't very well understood!" I doubt I'll be nominated fer a Pulitzer Prize fer this masterpiece, Nor will I be considered fer Poet Laureate fer this nonsensical piece. But I refuse to write about doom and gloom or especially to eligize, So, Mr. Pulitzer if you don't appreciate it, you can keep your prize! Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired (© All Rights Reserved)