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Dimmer Moments

Written: December 25, 2023 ___________________________________ The phone did ring; can you hear? Pillowing loss cursed by fear. Drowning in distraught remorse, Smoggy how we fell off course. Once saffron shades burnt our path, now murky vines choke with wrath. days and nights drudge on insane, Black cherry cold fills the veins.

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Valsa George

Date: 12/27/2023 10:37:00 PM

So succinct and profound. The stark change that has come over life is so strangulating. The golden days are over and our paths are strewn with tangled vines that choke and we have fallen off course. In the place of warm blood, a chilling cold creeps into the veins. In this little poem, you have packed so much of thoughts. Its perfect rhyming and easeful flow are so commendable.

Paige Hind

Date: 12/27/2023 8:18:00 PM

Very heavy, black cherry cold in veins... insane... was beautiful to read though.

Hilda Greenhough

Date: 12/26/2023 3:42:00 PM

Nice poem but I hope it isn't about growing old. I'm keeping away from those years. I did really enjoy the descriptive sentences.

Jay Narain

Date: 12/26/2023 10:55:00 AM

Nice penned.

Judy Ball

Date: 12/26/2023 4:16:00 AM

So beautifully written my friend. The emotion is so well expressed here. Nicely done. God Bless, JB

Ink Empress

Date: 12/25/2023 10:23:00 PM

This is such a heartfelt poem and so deeply moving too, very well written with excellent rhymes and flow of words as always dr sotto. I especially love the lines “ Once saffron shades burnt our path, now murky vines choke with wrath.” which shows that there was a time things were beautiful saffron and golden, bur now theres darkness that chokes with wrath. How metaphorical and deep and artistic is this poem so well crafted too. Pleasure always reading your work, hope christmas went well for you

Andrea Dietrich

Date: 12/25/2023 8:43:00 PM

Dark and chilling one, Sotto.

Kim Rodrigues

Date: 12/25/2023 5:07:00 PM

Wow, you did this poem justice with its imagery! Something about beautiful words used in dark thought.

Sara Etgen-Baker

Date: 12/25/2023 4:36:00 PM

loved the title...and your words captured those 'dimmer moments' quite well. Your words seem to fit the dimmer moments I occasionally feel in a relationship that's temporarily gone awry and when they do I admit 'black cherry cold fills my veins' A powerful image. Have a great evening, your poetess friend in Texas, Sara