Did You Know Goldens Can Talk
When us dogs lie there and stare up at you
What do you think we're thinking
Are we thinking whatever you say I agree with
Because you feed us every day without fail
We don't have hands, these paws are useless
For opening bags or cans
Tried biting the lid off early last month
Needed stitches, trouble eating for quite a while
What! Are you surprised we know what a month is
I'm not just your average pet you know
I'M A GOLDEN RETRIEVER
We're a special breed, just want all humans to know that
Us guys should be treated like royalty
We love everybody and don't mean to knock people down
We get a little over excited at times
Mean no harm, hoped your stay in the hospital
Would be short and you'd come out as good as new
Us dogs... sorry, us Goldens are a special breed
We don't associate with other less sophisticated breeds
Well, now that I've completely blown your mind
Perhaps next time we talk you'll have recovered
One thing before I go mute again
It'll be enough when wifey finds out I can talk
So I won't tell her about what I saw in the hospital
About the way you were ogling dear nursey-poo
For an extra bone and a sufficient amount of doggie treats
I'll keep this OUR little ole secret
WOOF! WOOF!
© Jack Ellison 2014
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