Decisions

Head hung low, walking dead and hollow. As I hear your voice, and I wait for the pain to follow. Your hurtful words sting like angry bees. I try to get away from you on shaky knees. How did we go from Heaven to Hell? If you ever loved me, its sure hard to tell. You are sadistic as you stalk and taunt me. Its over, why can't you just leave me be? Your words wound and slash me to the core. Just when I think you're done you yell some more. As if that isn't bad enough, tomorrow you'll call and be sweet. Asking me to take you back and find somewhere to meet. Twisted and torn, I know I can not bear to be with you alone. Its safer for me to only talk with you on the phone. I know my life is in danger if I agree to take you back. Even if you wanted to, you can't stop at a slap You get so angry when you don't get your way. Last time I ended up in the hospital for more than a day. Push me away, then try to pull me back. With your mood swings, I can never keep track. I wish I had a switch to turn off my feelings. I try to be hard but my life you are stealing. I have to be strong and keep you away. If I don't, I may not live to see another day. Its not as easy as it sounds to leave a loved one. But sometimes, despite love, you have to know when you're done. Love is not always enough to keep you together. I'd rather have my life, than be scared forever. *For all that have asked, YES, this is a true story and it IS about me, I left my husband almost two years ago after he almost killed me, by head butting me and breaking my face, I love my children and my life more than I love him. I wrote this so women (and sadly, some men) will know you CAN leave an abusive relationship. It isn't easy, but neither is dying for their anger, either*