Decade
And though you and I shared a single word
I dedicate this decade to you, my shadow
That eternal specter of my 20s
The blighted I could always use as an excuse
You showed me what it could mean to hurt
For the blessed in youth, I learned what pain meant as a legal adult
Haunted for years, still shivering today
When I remember I had a different name for the first 66% of life
I was willing to be your pyro
Burning bridges with people I loved and respected
Just to win another piece of praise from those sweet lips
Those flaming pyres that I'd see the world burn for
Those seven trumpets blare for you, my Reaper
Does it bring you joy to know you're still the first I think of
As a wall to climb before crawling up to reach zero?
Or do I simply think of you more than you do for me?
What does it mean to be a man?
To hurt? To pillage? To claim?
You were the final plank of the bridge I needed
To shed the yoke that my birth shackled me to
Eleven months to go until it's been ten years
And yet I'll let you haunt me as long as I'm static
White as snow and just as pale
Do my whispers haunt you like yours haunt mine?
You're the darker edge to a lighter existence
Of cisnormative promise as Man and Woman
The Eve to my Adam
So I reject the written God and cast an ear to the true one
I don't know who either of us are anymore
And I don't think I have for quite some time
But nearly a decade out from the last meaningful words we shared
I still work to shed your skin from mine.
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