Death Rhyme

I sit alone and wonder why Why don’t I have the guts to die? There’s nothing new that can be done There’s nothing true that can be won I look around me as I sigh Eyes clear, I see the great big Lie “It was for you that Christ has died,” is what you’re saying smug with pride It is your pride that makes me sick, With that you’ve made it all a trick And if you knew your history, You’d see you’re holy for a fee You know it’s just yourself you serve, You know you have a lot of nerve Why do you lie, and to yourself? I see you do it for your health Until your eyes are opened wide, You’ll never know that you have lied But when you do, you’ll gnash your teeth And moles will laugh from underneath Around, around, around I go, But I don’t move, that much I know. My life, it’s just the same old skit, I’m coming closer bit by bit There is no place I’ve ever fit, In hell, you think I’ll finally sit I want to die, I think I can, So how am I to do it then? I think I’ll shoot between my lips, I only hope my hand won’t slip The gun I want, it’s down the hall My brains will fly and then they’ll fall You will be shocked, you’ll say amazed, “I did not know she was that crazed.” You’ll hate my guts, a suicide! Though do you know I’ve tried and tried? But, there’s my boy, he’s just a pup, And I must wait til he grows up ‘Cause if I don’t he will go mad, For he will think he was too bad He has a right to try this life, But is it right to hide the strife? He is small and so has magic, He can hide from all things tragic Like him, I tried this too, but found That when you’re grown, there’s none around Now don’t be sly and try to lie, You see yourself that I must die