Death of Kafka

I am lying in bed a dark room, blinded light I feel like I am dying I want to drink water while I am dying the way a lilac does until its final end. My past is creeping by some memories are sweet, sweet like apricots sun ripped some are bitter, bitter like the childhood of an unloved boy. All my lovers there, I can see their faces, pale shades , shadows in their swollen eyes. My father is standing by my side, caressing my palms, his pride is melting by. I am closing my eyes death is very near, I hear silence of its whisper. Never imagined death will be sweeter than life. I am gasping in fragrance , I am drowning in dimming light.