Death of a Lover

The day she left 
The world shattered
The day I found her
Splayed on the floor
I went back to the winter
When her and I laid side by side
Making snow angels
The day she stained the snow blood red
I remember her holding me
As I cried
Like I was the one broken
Like I was the one
Who had a heart
That could never 
Pump enough life into my veins
I remember every moment
Like it was yesterday
I remember 
The day she told me she loved me
And I didn't believe her
I remember her laugh
As she took my hands and smiled
I remember 
The curve of her mouth
The way it felt
When she kissed me
I remember
That no how many times I tried
I could never kiss away her demons
The ghosts that creeped 
Into her dreams
Twisting them to nightmares
Invading her sleep
Now she wakes up screaming
I remember when I said she was beautiful
And she showed me her scars for the first time
I remember kissing each and every one of them
Thinking my lips
Could heal them
Like I would fill the cracks
In her life
Make her whole again
I remember the time
I found her after her first suicide attempt
Sitting in the bathroom 
Crying clutching the bottle of pills
The way she was clutching onto her life
I remember holding her that night
Staying awake as she slept 
So I knew she was still alive
 I remember trying to fix her 
To heal the brokenness she held for so long
Pulling her out of the canyon of her hurt
 But no matter how hard I tried
She kept falling
The death of a lover
Is something you blame yourself for
I remember thinking that I should have tried harder
That I should have held her longer
That I could have stopped her from leaving me
But truth is she was gone
Long before she met me
Copyright © | Year Posted 2015

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