Home » Poems » Louzana Nubani » Dear Agony

Dear Agony

To cry…
Is to wash the soul from darkness 
And suffers
To exude the pain in matters, in seconds
To laugh…
Is to revive your soul and body 
Add minutes to your time
Add purpose to your life
To smile…
Is to hide the pain of yours
Kill the fragility of your time
Smirk towards the hurt
To lower your head toward the ground…
Is to live up your day with no meaning
Spend your hours idly 
Pretend not to care but it hurts so much because of care
To foretell jokes…
Is to live the true agony 
And be the greater good
For your happiness is soon to be yours again 
To sit alone, peaceful and unbothered…
Is to live up your thoughts and visualize your ideas
Create the tones, make the lines
Open up the space that’s in your mind 
To walk but not walk…
Is to visualize yourself in another place, another time
With other people, better people
To do stuff you never did 
But then it hits you again 
The worthlessness and insignificance of your life
To listen to music and look out the window at night…
Is to think about the lover you never had
Consider the passion that is never to occur
Live the gloominess of your time
To walk and see the completeness of you and partialness of others…
Is to finally realize how blessed and unthankful you are
How ungrateful and stupid you will always be
How one can never be grateful for what one has but other lacks
To wear your favorite clothing and realize it does not fit you perfectly…
Is to realize how wasteful and careless you are for your body 
How uncomprehending you are for time and the quickness of it 
How your life may pass swiftly without your joyfulness of youth 
To suppress a tear on your pillow…
Is to dig the real thing deep down 
Until you close your eyes
Dried tears on your face and pillow
And never to open them again you wish

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