Debbie Guzzi | + Follow Poet |
Than-Bauk | + Fav Poem | Comment | Email | Print |

Dark Beginnings

edgy ink*lings
starlight *singers
un-*ring the moon

herald of *dark
disem*bark coal
breed *sparks gem stones...

cover our *wounds 
with sleep *sound's tick
mon*soon midnights

Poet: Debbie Guzzi
Contest: Than-Bauk a Twilight
*indicates the word or syllable
of the word which rhymes
[4th syll.,3th syll.,2nd syll.]

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Nette Onclaud Date: 4/20/2012 1:30:00 PM debbie, soup mail! Login to Reply

Elizabeth Wesley Date: 4/20/2012 10:08:00 AM Had to read a couple of times but your instructions below helped. Such an interesting rhyme that isn't easy to execute. Very nice Debbie Wish I could post pictures with my poems, I have some beauties and they add so much. Login to Reply

Sara Kendrick Date: 4/18/2012 7:18:00 AM Interestingly put together....Good luck in the contest...Reads like winning material to me..Enjoyed reading this morn..Thanks for stopping by...Yes, a lady the other day asked us to help her find a husband that is kind and will help with the yard work and repairs..This will be her fourth one wanted...At mine and her age they are hard to find..Oh! In response to your comment about men..Sara Login to Reply

Nette Onclaud Date: 4/17/2012 3:55:00 PM nice, debbie.. please check rhyme scheme and syl count of 3rd and 4th stanza.. :) huggs! Login to Reply

Laila Andresen Mjelde Date: 4/16/2012 11:53:00 AM Keep up the good penning great work, god luck in the contest! ;0) Hugs Laila Login to Reply

Joyce Johnson Date: 4/15/2012 7:26:00 PM This is very likely to be a top winner. Very intriguing. Thank you for trying to help me. I got the url and hilighted it but can't get it to paste. I will save your instructions and try to get some hands on help. Andrea says not many are pasting pictures on their entries. Love, Joyce Login to Reply

Andrea Dietrich Date: 4/15/2012 7:25:00 PM Very unique entry into the contest, with interesting images!! I love the last part the most. Monsoon midnights sounds so cool Login to Reply

Jack Horne Date: 4/15/2012 11:29:00 AM love this moody piece, debs. ok, i needed nagging, lol Login to Reply

Kabuteng P.Ink K. Date: 4/15/2012 10:44:00 AM soupmail-- off I go now though ;) Login to Reply

Kabuteng P.Ink K. Date: 4/15/2012 10:16:00 AM if it's not iambic I will be quicker but yup knowing myself I would be challenged to write in that ever elusive meter for me.. Arrgh. And oh! now you have me wanting to send you my itsy bitsy cranes!! I honestly want to send you one! Or two :D hugs-- yup I do put a lot on my plate sometimes, lol :D I need to diet. o_O Login to Reply

Kabuteng P.Ink K. Date: 4/15/2012 10:14:00 AM A brilliant than-bauk with a touch of something ominous (for me) but very vividly told with impressive lines-- I like so many of your lines here Debbie! The more I read this, the more I am loving it=- faving this! And EEP! Why you have to be so sweet and hum?! I can't resist that humming! I have been meaning to write a sonnet but I am swamped o_O! Italian one too? I will see what i can do, sweetie Debbie-- not promising anything just yet but I will Try, just for you! Login to Reply

Michelle Mac Donald Date: 4/15/2012 9:11:00 AM Hey you! This is a warm and tender- hearted write, Debs! You give as much thought and inspiration, as the photographs you choose as an accompaniement (I hope that how's it spelled:) I worte a reply to your last comment...hehe Best wishes!! Love, Mikki Login to Reply