Dad

Do you remember the times where we’d talk without saying a word? Where you’d sit there and read, when I’d lay there unheard? Or the times where you’d smile and sit there with glee, because you were proud of us, your loving family? We’d all look to you, respect you and loved when you’d sing, especially when it was Elvis, ‘cause that was your thing. And yet we never spoke much, at least not as I got older. I don’t know how we lost touch, or why we grew colder. And yet you are my Dad and I am your son, you are the reason I’ve done all I have done. But Dad, closing my eyes scares me on a night, I can’t seem to get that same scene out of my sight. Memories are twenty-twenty, that’s what people seem to find, well if that’s the case Dad I’d rather be blind. What I saw that day cut into me far too early, and far too deep. That’s why these memories won’t stop haunting my sleep. I love you, I miss you Dad and I want you to come home. I’m tired of feeling sad all of the time; I’m tired of feeling alone. I don’t know if you’re happier now, or regretting your decision, all I do know dad is that I’m heading for a collision. I feel like I’m going crazy, like I don’t know what’s real or what’s not, but I know that this feeling is the only sure one I've got. I’m angry that you left without even saying goodbye; because I thought I at least deserved more than that, did you even try? I want you here now just so I could punch you in the face, for you to pick me up and tell me I’m not a disgrace. I held up your dead body, swinging from that shed. I did my best to save you even though I knew you were dead. I clung onto you, hoping I could latch onto your soul, to stop you from leaving me with this unfillable hole. But you left dad, you’re gone and there’s nothing I can do, except to pretend to go on smiling forever, all because of you.