Niyna Desangre Poet Dramatic Monologue

Crowded Loneliness

~~~ {There's a crowd, there's a crowd, there's a crowd of 
loneliness} ~~~ 

Here I sit surrounded by party people bizz, buzzing gleefully. 
But I'm in the pits down in my zone, So I can only see me. 
Thus, death to the chit chatty tones and slurred speech. 
For their voices become catty echoes far from ears reach. 

Got up to walk down beaming streets stepping hip to side 
unable to speak. 
Gulping squawk sounds, of steaming weeps ebbing, drip and slide 
down unstable cheeks. 

Can't hold back forsaking eye contact my prides' destroyed 
as I try to avoid the grandstand of gaudy faces, gaudy 
clothes; of hand to body collision. For lonely teardrops 
cloud my vision. 

~~{I wish it would rain, I wish it would rain,..... 
I would sing it if I could sang}~~~ 

Head butting and unsorted collides. Zombie strutting in 
morbid strides. In search of a safe haven. A wide 
divide's what I'm craven, of needed segregation to hide 
in heeded dissociation. 

Joyful laughter, gleeful merriment and happiness all 
about. While my lungs fill with hot winds pressed 
against my chest in demand to be let out. 

The voice of silence, the quiet stillness of the night. 
The pains of yearning for thee with all my might. 
Curse the agony of my plight. 
~~~{Can I please, can I please put my mind at ease}~~~ 

Where art thou, Oh shelter... Ye place of refuge? Do 
not leave my spirit to wilt and welter. Grant my soul 
your peace and grace. Nae of down pouring tears deluge. 

In my sorrowful demotion to bear the toil of these 
boisterous turmoil secures the coiled and shrouded 
aloofness of my crowded loneliness. 
~~~ {There's a crowd, there's a crowd, there's a crowd of 
loneliness} ~~~ 

Supreme balance is a hand toss. 
Today it is I who bear the cross.

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Rachel Carson June 25, 2019 at 5:46 PM Hi, Niyna, I feel we have all had nights out like these! The last line took me by surprise, fantastic. cheers, Rachel Niyna Desangre June 26, 2019 at 8:05 PM Thanks for reading and commenting Rachel! I agree we may have all had nights as such. Hopefully not too many though. I appreciate the cheers~~~~ Niyna