Crotch Durability Problem

Single stitch seams in a sensitive place
Can make you look foolish – can make you lose face
Single stitch seams – just what were we thinking
With the strain on the job or material shrinking
Believe it or not when in rough terrain
Parts of the uniform are under some strain
We wiggle and waddle and flop down on the ground
These single stitch seams are a problem we found
Is it rank related?  – Well no body knows
But we can’t go around with our privates exposed
We must protect soldiers from their toes to their head
So don’t send them out without needle and thread.

So I sat down at lunch with the General today
Who’s in charge of it all – he had this to say
That story you read – let me just say it’s bogus
They’ve been complaining ‘bout this since the soldiers wore togas
To get wearing like that is all such a farce
Why they must be sliding down mountains sitting just on their ****
Or the uniform is so old or been blasted by sand
I hate when these stories get so out of hand
So don’t listen to those newsmen and the stories that they botch
I tell you we’ve no problem when we're talking 'bout our crotch
Copyright © | Year Posted 2011

Poem

Post Comments

Poetrysoup is an environment of encouragement and growth so only provide specific positive comments that indicate what you appreciate about the poem. Negative comments will result your account being banned.

Please Login to post a comment

Wesley Avatar
June 21, 2011 at 6:15 PM
What a hoot, I am enjoying them all so much.
Fraser Avatar
May 21, 2011 at 6:32 AM
I am imagining beefy soldiers sitting in line with a needle and thread as they prepare to go into battle. I dare say many a sock was darned in the liberation of Europe, nice one Mike....:)
Get a Premium Membership
Turn off ads, get more exposure for your poetry, and get more features with a Premium Membership.
Book: Diverse Voices: The Poetry of Human Rights and the Pursuit of Peace