Cool Companion

Barbie and Ken, Barbie and Ken, They’ve been an item since Christ-knows-when. He’s not Kenneth Connor, he’s not Kenneth Clarke Just Ken in the daylight and Ken after dark. Ken’s a rôle-model for American guys, He spoons Freddy’s custard over apple pies; His judgment’s keen ’cause he never took drugs And when Barbie gets cold he’ll offer her hugs. Ken don’t dance to rock-and-roll He likes Motown, techno, soul, Good with gadgets, quiet as a mouse And ever so handy around the house. Ken’s a smart bloke so he never gets drunk, His eyesight’s keen on skis or bunk; He’s devoted to Barbie, he’s neither rude nor messy And he never slunk-out on a date with Tressy. Politically he’s sat on the fence, Right of Tim Farron but left of Mike Pence; He’s not on Tinder and barred from Twitter, Ken never hung-out with Gary Glitter. Ken’s diplomatic and won’t cause friction, He don’t use slang, has perfect diction; Except on Sundays, he’s up-with-the-lark, He ain’t a bit like Kenny in …. South Park. Ken’s a loyal chap - always ready to smile, He’ll drive their camper-van that extra mile; He’s not Kenneth Williams, he’s not Ken Dodd, He never raised hell, he was more of a Mod. When Ken cries “brunch,” he’s never bluffin’, He’ll pour maple syrup on your crispy muffin. If you need more coffee he re-fills your cup And if you nod-off, Ken’ll wake you up. He signs autographs when he goes on-tour, His voice ain’t deep like Kenneth Moore, He’s not Kendal mint cake nor Kenneth Horne, He’s just been “Ken” since the day he was born! Barbie needs loving and Ken’s in her dreams, He books the best seats, supports the right teams, He still looks healthy, he never grows old - When demand tails-off they’ll break the mould.