Andrea Dietrich Poet Senryu

Contemporary Haiku

"Contemporary Haiku" by Catie Lindsey:

children play and scream
in a world at war ~
school bell rings


in a war-torn town
where a child screams for his mom. . . 
a school bell rings

(I've removed this revision for Catie from the contest and am using the tanka above it on my poetry page!)

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Debbie Duncan December 27, 2012 at 9:42 PM Love these short poems,, you know Haiku, Tanka, ,,,,,, Thank you for reading my Tudor Court, I love history from little girl. Jonathon Rhys Meyers was the good looking guy/ King Henry on " The Tudors. He also played Elvis,,, look it up on utube ;}

Erich Goller October 30, 2012 at 12:34 PM all wars are hell, a heartfelt expressed Haiku, Thanks for sharing it,God bless yoy, Hugs!Erich

Phyllis Babcock October 19, 2012 at 9:56 AM See you took one of Catie's poems for the contest and did the revision. Great write. love phyl

Harry Horsman October 19, 2012 at 1:56 AM Oh yes this is good, Andrea, a cutting poem like this, needs to be read....

Poet Destroyer A October 18, 2012 at 3:13 PM Hi, Andrea, are both the haiku's from Catie,,, I'm confused... anyways...I like the second haiku... and the tanka, better... xox~pd

Len Gasun October 17, 2012 at 4:18 PM Excellent one my dear! You're doing it well my dear great poet! Good luck always and I wish you all the best! :) hugsLG

Joann Grisetti October 15, 2012 at 7:57 PM I think you have done a good job at capturing the mood and tone of the original.

Michael J. Falotico October 15, 2012 at 6:27 PM Well I like it a lot. Well done my dear Andrea. :•) hugs Michael

Black Eyed Susan October 15, 2012 at 8:02 AM nicely done. good luck :)

Jack Ellison October 15, 2012 at 6:47 AM A great variation on Catie's... kudos! Hugs, Jack

Nette Onclaud October 15, 2012 at 2:10 AM superb aha moment, andie... war-torn to bell ringing... who said you can't nail a ku?.. best wishes and huggs!.:)

Ravi Sathasivam October 15, 2012 at 12:35 AM Excellent haiku. Enjoyed. Tfs

Robert Pettit October 14, 2012 at 11:53 PM Nice revised version of Catie's work. Catie's haiku is still quite admirable. You have only rendered a good variation of it.

Kash Poet October 14, 2012 at 11:15 PM Very nice aproach by you.The deadline for catie's contest is Nov 05 and today is Oct 14:) Kash Poet October 14, 2012 at 11:16 PM approach....And best wishes.

Joseph May October 14, 2012 at 8:10 PM nice haiku Andrea...best wishes...love...Joseph

Russell Sivey October 14, 2012 at 5:23 PM This is a very nice rendition of Catie's Senryu Andrea! I really enjoyed this remake a lot, a stupendous write! Wonderful piece, Great Work!!

Terry O'Leary October 14, 2012 at 3:48 PM War is wrong... both versions are perfect! Terry

Anne-Lise Andresen October 14, 2012 at 3:40 PM MOOO ..... good moooaiku - "ku" is cow .... :) :) :) Luck in contest Andrea! Have a nice Sunday evening. - oxox love Anne-Lise :)