Cold Showers Don'T Chill Thrills
I was talking to this sexy
girl on the net ( I cannot tell you her name )
I’ve seen her picture on facebook
A pic that will make you sweat.
We were talking naughty pics
Don’t ask, the subject just came up one day
Ok it was just quick flirty comments
If I must say
Then two hours later
An email comes through
Saying a private naughty pic
Just between me and you
Now this woman is hot
Worth the burns on and hands
But you know me :-)
I had to stop the pic from stimulating any glands
So I thought
I would kill two birds with one stone
I’d have a cold shower
While I have a private viewing at home
Out came the extension cord for the laptop
As I balanced it on one hand (does it matter which hand?)
In a cold shower
I slowly panned
Reading the message
I scrolled and paused
It said
Here I am dressed as Santa Clause
With a wet finger
I scrolled with eyes wide
And saw a cartoon pic
Of Daddymas shaking his but cheeks from side to side
As I read the inscription
“Gottcha now get back to work”
An electric power surge went through me
Which made me berserk
I bounced off the ceiling
The floor and walls
And landed on the edge of the bath
Right on my Sidney Halls
Me wife rushed upstairs
And when she saw this, beat me some more
With her faithful
2X4
Now it’s ok to have
A 1970s Afro in some cases
But for a bald man like me
It’s not, especially in the wrong places
The electricity made me hairs stand on end
Under me arms and me private bit which drove me insane
Particulally when it makes you walk
For a week like John Wayne
But the good thing is when we eventually
Made love in the dark
I made her eyes light up
And even spark
Well I learned me lesson
And won’t do that again
I balance the laptop in the basin
And try to use a stick to scroll, which is a pain.
PS: Thanks Doris you owe me a new laptop
Happy thanksgiving
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