Citizen of Lamentation

This world seems not my home, It’s just a vacuum full of disappointments! Where you do good for the fellows and be repaid nothing. Be their witness for their win, them witness for you to be in prison. You drag them from a small hole of insects, them ready to push you into a den of lions. Give them gold jewelry for beauty, them smear you with mud for you to look funny. Educate their children for a bright future, them to kill yours to die desperate. I feel like there is nothing else in my heart except excessive pain. It raises when I take a breath, does not allow me to sleep and enjoy. Rather it just clings and screams and rather takes away my attention. When I try to forget about the intimidations and humiliation of the people I entrusted, All my muscles, and bones, my beautiful heart, brain and organs undergo ischemia. My body thinks I deserved them because I would have observed how they treated me. But where are the people that I helped? Why this hatred, rival and enmity? I stand alone in this deepest grief and pain, though pitfalls gape and yawn! There is no one to lend me a helping hand, so all hope seems useless and in vain. No help is mine, all bridges burned, all that I own is in pawn. This is my time of shedding off my tears, cry more and later comfort myself. I wish Jesus was still on this earth, at least I would be happy! He would be on my side so that when I cry, he cries, as I laugh, he laughs. He would be holding my shoulder right now and even comforting me. I wish I was still n the womb so that I escape such events, Where I am desperate, mentally disturbed and traumatized. Anyway I am a lamenting citizen on this planet, it’s not what I deserved.