Church of the Frozen Chosen

There was a church I visited it's windows trimmed in gold But when I walked inside the door I suddenly felt cold Two ushers were just standing there they looked at me and glared When I asked where the bathroom was they pointed down the stairs Soon I went in and found a pew the choir took it's place But they all looked like statues as they stared off into space When they finished singing the preacher said a prayer With no emotion in his voice he welcomed new guests there I really got uncomfortable and didn't know what to do When he said "Church of the Frozen Chosen is proud to welcome you We hope you will enjoy your stay; come back but please take note Unless you want to freeze to death be sure and bring your coat The heater isn't broken in fact it works quite well But we begin to freeze up if someone mentions hell We remember what the Lord said in a message He once told If you're lukewarm I'll spew you out - you should be hot or cold We've seen some churches that were hot and they gave us quite a scare Some people started shouting; raising hands up in the air Some even started dancing and some fell on the floor It scared us all so bad we almost made a door We are a church built by man and we do as we please Satan often visits here but he never seems to freeze So if you have a strong desire to freeze a burning soul Bring them here to visit us; we'll help you reach that goal!"