Notes About The Poem
Written on 6th December 2024
Christmas Yapping
To The Tune Of Christmas Wrapping By The Waitresses
Damn and blast ! Somethings wrong
My dog ran off down the freeway
I was away working hard you see
And didn't see him get away.
My car broke down, things got worse
I called the cops to help me
The perfect ending for me would be
To have car working and dog with me.
So that's - my grief
A broken car and dog not with me
Then the ' cop asked if I'd had a drink
"No" I said "The smell you smell is let me think.
The cop said" We'll have to check.
Step out the car if you please
And walk on straight toward me"
I did try but fell flat on my face.
The cops were laughing and so was I
Even when they put the cuffs on me
"What about my car" I said
One said "It's not going anywhere.”
Then they put me in the patrol car
And took me down to the station
Booked me in, put me in a cell
With some murderers and rapists.
"Not guilty" I screamed out
"Keep it down" a cop shouted.
"Want my lawyer" I said to the cop
"You've got no right to keep me.
Check my aftershave it's not booze
You'll find it's whiskey flavour."
The cop said "Pull the other one
You're spending Christmas in jail this year.
Not on your life, not on your life
I'll be soon outta this place
Not on your life, not on your life
I'll be soon outta this place
Not on your life, not on your life
I'll be soon outta this place
Not on your life, not on your life
I'll be soon outta this place.
Cop laughed and said" Santa might pop
in too
You'll get turkey and some tea"
All I could think of was my poor dog
Alone out on the freeway
Or worse lying in a ditch
Without me to help him.
Then the cop said "I've got news
Your lawyer's here to see you."
My face lit up I started laughing
About time he came to get me
The cell door opened I was free to go
He'd proved to the cops what I'd told them so.
My car had been fixed, they'd towed it in
And to my surprise had found my dog
So glad it was a happy ending.
Couldn't believe it was happening.
I'm so happy, I'm so happy
Now I'm full of Christmas cheer
I'm so happy, I'm so happy
Now I'm full of Christmas cheer.
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