Christmas 2015

I dreamed you were in our bedroom, (two weeks after you died) sitting on the edge of the faded winter quilt, your index finger pointing at me, your t shirt that said "Dipsea,' reminding me how you loved that uphill Marin marathon run, and then you screamed "Don't look back!" loud, making sure I heard you, in the pre dawn hours, knowing I was in fetal position, hugging the edge of the mattress like it was my first teddy bear, you gone. And then LOVE shook me into Christmas 2015 and fed me a nibble, a quiver of the moment, shrouded in a brief flash of knowing that I hadn't died.