Choosing Your Fate

Your wife sits beside your bed holding tightly your hand
Smiling although she's grieving, just trying to understand
You pulled out your feeding tube, chose your right to die
To go on without you after 60 years, she fights not to cry.

A stroke 6 years before left you paralyzed on your right side
Unable to speak, walk and eat, simple bodily functions denied
Life changed drastically, you needed long term nursing care
That I met you through these circumstances is truly unfair

Without food and fluids, you wait until death makes its claim
I believe if I were in your shoes, I would choose to do the same
The years of anguish and pain you endured has taken it's toll
Courage and strength amplifies as you access damage control

Don, you always gave me a smile that brightened up my day
With head nods and eye contact, you were always able to convey
That you were happy to see me and listened to all that I had to say
You'd nod and listen to my stories, I hoped I chased your blues away

I requested that you be my guardian angel when it was your time to go
You nodded with the sweetest smile that my tears threatened to overflow
Donald it was an honor to have known you, I have the utmost respect
For staying longer than you wanted, your love ones you wanted to protect

We'll all find comfort in knowing that you'll suffer no more
You had a long good life, a loving wife and children to adore
Now you will watch over us and guide us spiritually when we need
I have a feeling you'll be good at this, a special angel, oh yes indeed!                                 


*Don was a resident of mine, he died 12 days after pulling out his feeding tube shortly after his 80th birthday. RIP Donald aka my guardian angel.
Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Carrillo Avatar
September 10, 2013 at 8:34 PM
Cecilia; This so close to home. It made me cry. Sometimes I think that life is not fair, but than I say - God is. My Mom spent the last three years of her life in the hospital and nursing homes. She too had a feeding tube and no legs. It is a year that she passed, this month/ Thanks for sharing. You have a good heart.. God bless you.... Lucilla
Beaufort Avatar
August 3, 2013 at 7:14 PM
It is a wonderful thing that you are doing. You are a saint in your own right! Donald was a hero in a way. He must have been very pained, but I am sure that you helped him a great deal. What comes through in this poem is the love you have for people. It is a very good thing. Wish you were president!
Kendrick Avatar
July 7, 2013 at 3:12 PM
Great work that you have written honoring one of your patients..Our grandson's father refused a feeding tube..He had HD and was in the final stages..He lasted about three months..Sara
Posey Avatar
July 6, 2013 at 10:49 PM
I knew this would be a winner...Why was I not surprised.... Congrats... Jake
A  Avatar
July 6, 2013 at 2:07 PM
this is one cool poem, CONGRATS, love Skat
Ryerson Avatar
July 6, 2013 at 1:43 PM
Cecilia - I did not realize this gem was on the winner's list when I first commented. I am not surprised...
Manassian Avatar
July 6, 2013 at 7:36 AM
Oh......oh......my mama often prayed to go when she was wheelchair bound and unable to do anything for herself.....I know that pain. When I was finally able to be unselfish and to pray for her release...she passed away. Bless you....bless you for being there for him and his wife.......bless you for writing this...bless you for understanding his need to go and being there in the final hours.....Beautiful write...congrats.
Delaney Avatar
July 6, 2013 at 1:42 AM
Cecelia: Congratulations. What a beautiful tribute to a wonderful person. You have given dignity to someone who may have felt it was lost. So much to admire here. SuZ
A   Avatar
July 5, 2013 at 11:07 PM
CECILIA.... congratulations... from:Linda
Anglesey Avatar
July 5, 2013 at 10:27 PM
Cecilia, You are an honor above humanity for taking care of these souls crippled with disease. I have so much respect for the hospice care giver who assisted with my mother. You are the true angel and god bless Donald for smiling in his time of distress :)
A  Avatar
July 4, 2013 at 10:58 AM
sad, and deep.......enjoyed............ LOVE* SKAT
Lamoureux Avatar
July 4, 2013 at 8:50 AM
I am sure your words will be a source of healing for all who attend the service.
Ryerson Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 6:31 PM
Misty-eyed here Cecilia...I have been following you for quite awhile and this is by far your best effort...I have nothing but admiration and respect for what you do... I saw my grandfather and father go through the same thing as this gentleman and if I see that I am fast approaching that point, I definitely will do my best to check out...Not for me, but for my daughters and grandchildren who would be forced to see me in that condition, and I do NOT consider that suicide...Thanks - Tim
Johnson Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 5:34 PM
we stay till the time, that our fate string is cut, served time 4 our crime, our next step is up, new adventure sublime... soul onwards, winged stuff... to flounder and flap, to get the beat right enough....Don re: Cecilia Macfarlane "Choosing Your Fate"
Posey Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 10:35 AM
I believe the most precious God given blessing is the ability and will to control our own destiny, or, at lest the timing of it. This is a beautiful witness to that....... God Bless You, dear Cecilia...... Jake
Lamoureux Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 8:50 AM
This is so moving Cecilia, you are a sweet soul. I am sure he is smiling down on you.
Macfarlane Avatar
July 3, 2013 at 8:55 AM
Thanks Rick, I do believe he is. I wrote this out for his wife and framed it, she is bringing it to the memorable service.
Jones Avatar
June 28, 2013 at 7:01 PM
What an amazing story and man...
Dietrich Avatar
June 28, 2013 at 1:42 AM
this is a fantastic tribute to Donald. God bless him and YOU for treasuring him.
Kearley Avatar
June 27, 2013 at 11:48 PM
Yup! You got me also a little teary eyed. That's love.... :*) A beautiful write! :o)
Tacito Avatar
June 27, 2013 at 7:51 PM
Painful, but intensely enlightening as well. What a story. A guardian angel. I think he'll have your back. Huge respect to you for this piece...
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