Chilblains Are Myth

narcissistic negativity in higher learning. nods of forget-me-nots, knots in shyness satisfying unconfidence - look at me, don’t look at me, pass by, stop...please. brat in me left for a funeral, fuming dissonance; meanwhile friends thought I was dead, falling off the precipice of this world, woe is me; shame...I should feel shame at sharp turn from reality - negativity my play. the dead fell into me, he was condemned to die an untimely death from pot, “they say.” poor lot of the dead, drudgery of debt — undefiled, dallying not with love nor hate. i hated the solo seat next to this strange, pudgy boy - he was only a boy, a barbizon actor - parting was such sweet sorrow, he left the Globe Theater. my bland diet of diurnal tides, wicked flow of upset and woe, dictated by me - for eternity i think not; the shredmonster to grind the grandiose conjecture of a silly girl’s thoughts, thoughtless and lost. now i know every life counts: the drowned, the blood-ill, the poisoned and the one-way erasure. every moment counted - the countless counting in math class, the superb poems i kissed or absentmindedly missed, hysterical history superciliously rendered to simple ears, later pierced with inlaid gems — truth. what is truth, asked by ages past - past my prime, prim and proper squeezed through butt cheeks. we must laugh, not just in the dark but in open places. tear the pieces of my heart, the decor relentless however i see through arbitrary glasses, classes taught by God. i pray don’t break me. fragile glass, shards sunken in — buried in the ocean sand. my personality could split in half, in quarters — behind the shed. negativity relishing, nodding. positive i will not end up this way. my vocabulary shan’t never be small, again i shall pour out pages and pages of potential balm. moisturizing at my age necessary — when you’re a child, chilblains are myth. catharsis chitter-chatters better with false teeth and assorted feathers. 12/5/2020 Contest: Catharis Sponsor: Silent One *Shakespeare