Check With the Dead

I thought i was KILLING FOR JESUS and other lies... Baptised in blood, Baptised in oceans of sweat in my bed...Even while wake the nightmares real in my head, I dance with my victims I dance with the dead. Angels falling from grace, covered crimson red. Look, look! How far i fell... I have killed for oil and will burn in hell. I can see the grenades flash, taste there tears, smell the incinerated flesh. these memories i cannot keep. I have FED these demon's sex and violence, prison, smoke,prostitutes and pills, LSD and cocaine... needles full of precious dope to kill my mind numb the soul to kill the pain... Some Nights i cannot sleep for i know what must be done un-popular un-Fun. How can i live? Live with all of this pain? I fake a smile with hells fury burning on my brain. Now i see the oceans dieing and the animals hate us. our mother hates us. The gov points fingers the oil company made us. Must i die a Martyr or live for a cause? This is the question i ponder swimming in my bed, let me check with the dead.