Chasing Buttons

From his home-made wooden rocker my dad beckoned with his hand, as his wasting frame would not allow the dying man to stand and he handed me two buttons, that were worn and on a chain, then he whispered of their origins while grimacing with pain. “These two buttons were my father’s lad and from a prison shirt that dad wore because he’d beat a man who’d treated him like dirt. He was placed in solitary and that added to his shame, so to stay sane in that darkness … well he played this little game. “He would throw those two white buttons in the black void of that room and he’d search until he found them in his quest to beat the gloom. Yes he’d throw those two white buttons and they kept the poor man sane, till they finally released him and my dad came home again. “When I met your darling mother son I felt right from the start that this girl was something special and I knew deep in my heart that we’d marry and have family and son the dream came true, but it broke me when I lost her, after she gave birth to you. “Though I had you to remember her, I nearly lost my mind and I’d ask God in my darkened room why was life so unkind. But my dad came to the rescue and placed in my hand one day two white buttons and revealed to me a game he used to play. “Yes I’d throw those two white buttons in the black void of that room and I’d search until I found them in my quest to beat the gloom. Yes I’d throw those two white buttons and they somehow kept me sane till I found a little peace of mind and was your dad again. “Still we’ve shared a lot of years since then and son you’re now a man and I know you love your family and do the best you can. I do not have much to leave you just these worn out buttons lad and the knowledge that I loved you and was proud to be your dad.” Then his hand slumped off the rocker and dad’s spirit left that night and him lying there and free of pain was such a peaceful sight. Though at night I’d sit there in the dark, depressed and feeling blue, till I took to throwing buttons, just like my dad used to do. Yes I’d throw those two white buttons in the black void of that room and I’d search until I found them in my quest to beat the gloom. Yes I’d throw those two white buttons and they somehow kept me sane and I thanked my dad and grandpa for those buttons on that chain.