Shauna Woodbury | + Follow Poet |
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Carousel of Psychosis

A rage disorder she says
a blessing I tell her as I admire how white her doctor coat is. Stupid color for people who work with blood.
 Anger issues and compliance- complications she diagnosis me with.
 Strength, fortitude and a sprinkle of 'I don't give a rip' I fire back.
  Therapy and cleansing she writes down.
 "Therapy this" I retaliated with and a closed fist.
 Emotional regulation she sweetly  condescends.
 "Pah" ! I lip fizzle in disgust.
 Issues. Therapy. Feelings.
 Just words. 
 I know. I am. I will. I can. 
 It's always me, with me, for me,  on me,  because of me. Pay you to define me? No. 
 Pay you to betray me? You pay me to heal then Ill decide you can do your job!
 I'm not broken. I'm above the sheep and the packs of blindly guided. That's society? That's where I'm supposed to regulate to? Uh uh.
 Boots and fists. Armour and poisonous tongues. I'll survive. 
 I have me. 
 Parameters and boundaries. Limits and control. 
I'll set fire to it all.
 Tell me I don't think in mainstream connections.  I'll tell you it's beneath me. Tell me I don't fit in. I'll tell you I rise above.
 You stay small. I like your size. It makes it easy to crush you.
Oh? Session is over? You must feel powerful.. I have to come back? I'm fixed. I'm fine.
With a firey blow and a dramatic exit I smash through the stifling confining quarters of conccurement.
Sounds blare outside. Colors smear. I'm fine. Street grease and material damage. I'm collateral for her  better way.
 I hold my head. Stop! Noise. Who said that? I could end this. 
There would be peace. I'm nobody's wench. I got this. I am and that's enough. Stop talking to me!!  I could smash these things I see. I'd be right. Who keeps talking??? Leave me alone!!!
 Spinning. Cement. Blackness.
 I woke up cold and dirty. It's not a problem. 
Therapy today at 3. Good thing it's 5. I made it. I'm fine.

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