Can'T Remember To Dream

I’m only okay in my sleep When I’m far away From my dreams The ones I see With eyes wide open The delusions that Keep me running Pushing Battling With racing heart Racing mind No rest in sight Afraid to dream Even at night Because of the half memories Half feelings Half words on my lips Upon rising That leave a bad taste On the back of tongue In the back of my mind Like a bully’s venom Spit in the face of the victim And as I fight back The thoughts that Come with the light I have to remind myself Even Jesus cried And even Jesus refused To like dying So why can’t I refuse To like waking When I’m so afraid Of living Because even in my sleep I can’t remember to dream