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Can Not Stop

Sun down to sun up I can not stop thinking of you I lie awake half the night And I wish for you I would fight Harvesting this pain like a crop Growing so much it might pop Deep in thought I quickly grew And all along deep down I knew You were all I wanted But you, I couldn't grasp I wanted us to last We swiftly moved on The days move along Sun down to sun up I can not stop thinking of you I lie awake half the night And I wish for you I would fight You don't see what I see in you You are so beautiful it is true You have everything I want But you sit around and taunt You laugh and talk But are unaware Of how without you can not bare But you are drifting out of my sight And because of it I am losing what was left of my might Sun down to sun up I can not stop thinking of you I lie awake half the night And I wish for you I would fight The day you completely leave my life You will never know of my strife I thrived off your beauty I longed to see your smile But all the while You do not see How amazing you are to me But poems scare girls these days If I showed this to you, you'd be amazed You'd think me weird And forever to you I'll be feared Sun down to sun up I can not stop thinking of you I lie awake half the night And I wish for you I would fight I know not what to do Because I am slowly losing you And these thoughts of you keep growing Without you even knowing And I can not stop

Copyright © | Year Posted 2009




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Date: 10/17/2009 8:17:00 PM
Rhythmically, a few of the stanzas didn't flow very well. That could just be how they read, though. Maybe they sound smoother when read aloud. BUT, The second half of the poem was awesome! I could feel it, and that's the key to good writing in my opinion :D Fantastic!
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Date: 10/17/2009 8:08:00 PM
I really like this one...I want to rework it over time and make it perfect. Let me know what you think, I entered it in the poetrysoup contest.
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Book: Shattered Sighs