Californy

Jack was sitting poker faced With bullets backed by bitches. Neal hunched at the wheel Puttin everyone in stitches. He was braggin 'bout This nurse he'd screwed, While drivin through Nebraska. Said that when she came, She honked the horn, And Neal just barely Missed a truck And then he asked her If she'd like to cum like that All the way to CalifornY? See a redhead in a uniform Will always make you horny. With her hair net and her white Shoes and a name tag and a hat, She drove like Andy Granatelli And knew how to fix a flat! And Jack was at the bottom Of his second 2020. Neal was yellin out the window Tryin to buy some beannies From a Lincoln, full of Mexicans Whose left rear tire blew And the son's of bitches Prit near ran us off the road! Well the nurse had Spilled the Manischewitz All up and down her dress, Then she lit the map on fire And Neal just had to guess. Should we try to find A bootleg route Or a fillin station open? The nurse was dumping Out her purse looking for a kiss. Jack was out of cigarettes, When we crossed the yellow line. The gas pumps looked Like tombstones from then on. It felt lonelier than a parking lot When the last car pulls away. And the moonlight dressed The double breasted foot hills In the mirror, weaving out A negligee and black brassiere. The mercury was running hot And we were almost out a gas, Just then Florence Nightingale Dropped her draws and stuck Her fat ass out the window To a Wilson Picket tune And she shouted "get a load of this! " And give the finger to the moon. Counting one eyed jacks And whistlin Dixie in the car, Neal was doin least a hundred When we saw a shootin star. Florence wished that Neal Would hold her 'stead of chewin his cigar. Jack was noddin out and dreamin That he was in a bar, With Charlie Parker on the bandstand And not a worry in the world, And a glass of beer in one hand And his arm around a girl. And Neal was singin to the nurse Underneath a Harken moon And somehow you could tell We'd be in CalifornY pretty soon.