But You Didn't
You said you were going to do that thing you always wanted to,
whether it was joining the football team,
Or asking that girl you pass in the hallways to accompany you to the dance.
But you didn’t.
Because your schedule wouldn’t allow it.
Because someone asked them before you.
You told yourself that you weren’t going to be “soft” anymore
Because you never liked being pushed around.
But you didn’t.
Because you hated seeing the look on your friends faces when you got mad.
You wrote that note because you were tired of “not doing things”
Because you were sick of not following through with what you told yourself.
Because you thought that life was spiting you just for living.
You had everything ready,
You told yourself this was when you would finally follow through.
For the first, and the last time.
But you didn’t.
Not because the knife was dull,
Or the pills were fake,
Or the bottle was full of water,
Or the ammo was blank.
But because your sister wanted to play dress up
With the person that always made her laugh.
Because your brother wanted to get food
With the sibling that always knew his tastes.
Because your mother wanted to go shopping
With the child that knew her style a little better than the others.
Because your dad wanted to go bowling
With the kid that gave him a run for his money.
You kept telling yourself, “Tomorrow.”
Tomorrow, your sun would eclipse.
Tomorrow, your tide would settle.
Tomorrow, your world would stop spinning.
But it didn’t.
Because little did you know,
Those coaches needed another player.
Because your friends' expressions were of pride
For the one they were hoping would stand up for themselves.
Because that special someone rejected the guy who asked,
Waiting for you.
You had every reason to hope it would end.
But it didn’t.
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