Break Down With a Smile

Memories yet I smile, one day of peace in my head hasn't been that way for a while I'm the same as you totally like you through and through but never mind if i'm missing a screw or two I can trick you like I always do. To bridge the gap of reality and place sane and insane in a constant state of forever hate just to walk along side and enjoy the ride as you look me in the eye and ask me to smile with pride little did you know that less then twenty four hours ago this average Joe was struggling just to let it all go. But yes sir I kindly breakdown with a smile just to keep it together for a little while do you think that as time goes by one flash back or triggered event wont cause me to flip out and vent.The cold sweats and mounting regrets is second nature that I suppress like all the rest I walk amongst you with my silent issues that I refuse to come unglued in the sight of you so I breakdown with a smile in hopes that you don't notice me and try with a smirk on your face to save me. Do you recognize who I am yet think long and hard, I was sworn to defend you and do my duty to honor you and this country but when I left Iraq I brought something back. A shattered mind that I couldn't leave behind so I breakdown with a smile a broken soul that use to be so strong and I'm asked to carry on with some heroic song you ask me to march along. NO SIR I WILL NOT I do not comply you walk a mile in this soldiers shoes and then ask me again to go back and play stooge to be used and mentally abused, I break down with a smile because I know that god wont let this continue I believe I believe I believe..