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Expelling a sigh the scent of your breath distills a vapor of love

Copyright © | Year Posted 2013

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Date: 5/5/2015 7:43:00 PM
[the clean mint/ scent of your breath/ I sigh] senryu- since we know a sigh is expelled air there is no need for the word expelled - love has no smell & to be a haiku it must be objective! BUT to be a senryu it need not be - it can be subjective- so the first decision you should make is whether you can give up most of your opinions and write of sensory FACT which evokes emotion [then you write haiku]OR this is about your opinion then its senryu you want. Light & Love
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Ralph Sergi
Date: 5/19/2015 2:56:00 PM
Hi Debbie: Thank you for your comment (or critique)on my Haiku. It was my first attempt at this form and after reading many , I WAS trying to evoke an emotion with a vapor as love as I love Brandy. (Or is it a woman?)I admire your poetry and I wasn't familiar with Senryu at the time. So perhaps you may be a little bit too pedantic. At any rate, please accept an Italian hug.
Date: 12/11/2013 9:14:00 AM
love the imagery... deep... Have a nice day..... -<-@ luv~LINDA <3
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Date: 11/22/2013 5:09:00 PM
Ok very different type of write. I'm glad you enjoyed my booth my friend. cheri
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Date: 11/21/2013 6:03:00 PM
Excellent, I love the smell of Brandy. Great Haiku. I admire this form of poetry, sadly I'm useless at it, but get great pleasure reading other poets work. Well done.
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Date: 11/21/2013 6:53:00 AM
Thank you Skat and Anne Lisa. I am a brandy lover with a good Cuban cigar
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Date: 11/21/2013 5:41:00 AM
- Sweet words of love in a haiku poem, Ralph.- Enjoyed it !! - Anne-Lise :)
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Date: 11/20/2013 3:34:00 PM
Hello Ralph, wow.... That's one purified feeling Brandy leaves behind... Wonderful haiku..... Love ~SKAT~
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